Not bloging, identities and Happy New Year :)

by Lilia Efimova on December 31, 2011

IMG_0227I go to Nancy’s blog to look for the Pear & Cranberry Chutney recipe to cook for tomorrow and then remember that I have a blog too and that it had been silent way too long. So here I am :)

The truth is that I feel a bit like a caterpilar in a cocoon – hiding from everyone and in a process of a transformation. I never thought that I would think of stopping blogging here – so much this blog was me. What I didn’t realise is that identities change or, to be more specific, some of those many identities in each of us take leading role for a while. Or, to be even more specific, I didn’t realise how much my professional identity was leading in my life. Untill I stopped working :)

Letting go professional identity gave time and space to all others that were also in me, hidden. It’s an interesting process to reflect on – letting go parts of your old life to give space for new things to emerge. And scary at times (enough not to write about it :)

As for the online writing – it feels funny to see how social media is getting picked up by lots of people I know and, at the same time, not to have much of the need to do it myself. I do write online – under a different nickname, mainly private and in Russian. Somehow that fits better what I need now (and helps building very different networks). Hopefully writing in Dutch will come as well (as I need it too), but I’m not there yet.

So, what I’m busy with now? All things “green” and local, sewing, house and kids, as well as alternative educational modes. There are a lot of things to write about there, although I’m not sure anymore that this blog is the right space for it (well, if you want to hear about my compost worms let me know :). The last topic would fit pretty well here, but at the moment writing about it feels a bit like writing about internal corporate issues while being employed there – it’s a thin line to navigate and I’m not there yet.

IMG_0203I do miss many of you with whom I connected via this space. Unfortunately letting go work also means that lots of shared activities and shared spaces where you connects with your network go to the background. So, I just send all of you my best wishes for the coming year – strength to go out of your comfort zone and time to enjoy life :)

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Nancy White December 31, 2011 at 3:00

Hm, was just wondering if one could make the chutney w/ blueberries too. ;-) Believe it or not, I have been thinking of all of you a lot. I’m just bad at reaching out. Hugs to everyone and I DO want to hear about the worms. In return, I’ll tell you about our chickens!

2 andrea baker December 31, 2011 at 4:00

Good to hear from you, L, and happy new year back!
Have missed seeing you around.

3 Jack Vinson December 31, 2011 at 4:56

I. Wonder where you are and what you are up to from time to time. I know how kids can be overwhelming. one. Of these days we’ll drag the boys to Europe and visit friends like you.

4 Harold Jarche December 31, 2011 at 6:28

It was a pleasant surprise to see your post pop up in my feed reader (how could I ever have removed it?). I understand how time brings changes. We are at the next phase of our lives, as our boys leave home.

Thanks again for all your wonderful inspiration over the years, Lilia.

5 Esther January 6, 2012 at 12:07

Happy New Year to you too!

6 Samuel Driessen January 13, 2012 at 6:17

Good to hear from you in this way! Good luck to you. Hope to see you in real-life this year.

7 Torill March 16, 2012 at 12:47

Dear Lilia,

I just looked back in at your blog, because I remembered that some of your work might be useful for my current work. I know I should feel happy for you, that you have found what you want, that you have followed your “heart’s desire” and chosen to stay with your children. At the same time I look at your work, and I miss your voice in the wider debate, the grand discourse. I miss your insights and your knowledge, your curiousity and your ambition. Here’s to hoping you will want to return to our corner of academia, in a not too far future. Oh, and I was right, you’re writing about linking practices, just what I was looking for. Thanks.

Torill

8 Craig Talbert June 23, 2012 at 9:38

I agree with Torill, you should blog some more. :)

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