Leadership is pretty much like respectful parenting

by Lilia Efimova on December 11, 2009

Was struck after a conversation about leadership by the parallels I see between it and parenting (or, at least, the parenting values we tend to choose as a family):

  • creating conditions for others to grow without treating them as “small”
  • legitimate peripheral participation: creating conditions for learning by observing and participating on one’s own terms in existing practices, rather than telling about how things should be
  • seriously addressing nightmares as serious stuff even when you can’t imagine how someone could be afraid of that
  • nurturing passions while taking care of safety
  • thinking in terms of boundaries and attractors
  • telling what is going to happen and discussing the options instead of pulling others along for a pre-arranged trip
  • believing that loving care and on-going conversation can get you much further than punishments and rewards
  • figuring out how to express love in another’s terms, not in your own
Tags: ,

{ 2 trackbacks }

kidsgoape (Malc Crawford)
December 11, 2009 at 11:34
soulwhispers (nadia dresscher)
December 13, 2009 at 8:19

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

1 caheidelberger December 11, 2009 at 9:08

Lovely post — as a dad, I particularly like the point about taking others’ nightmares seriously, even when we know there’s nothing to be afraid of. Quite the challenging model for leadership!

2 Brandon R Allen December 14, 2009 at 5:18

This is a great point and something that I have thought about a lot. There are tons of parallels between the two although it seems that some people would be offended by saying that.

3 John Tropea December 16, 2009 at 8:35

Great post!

I’m new to parenting with a 5th month old and really enjoyed reading the book “The Continuum Concept”. And hope to take onboard what I learn about complexity from Snowden and apply it to parenting.

Chris Corrigan has a couple of good posts about parenting and emergent learning conditions which parallels with leadership in organisations…which is really the concept of an enterprise 2.0
http://chriscorrigan.com/parkinglot/?p=976
http://chriscorrigan.com/parkinglot/?p=898

I posted about the midwife role in our homebirth…actually my post was before the actual birth.

During the birth the midwife hung back and allowed my wife and I to share the experience as much as we could, she would only intervene if really needed…she set the conditions so we felt enabled and empowered.

Very contrasted with a hospital approach of control, one-size-fits-all….

http://libraryclips.blogsome.com/2009/05/05/birthing-and-midwives-stories-facilitation-and-decision-making/

4 Lilia Efimova December 16, 2009 at 11:25

John, thanks for comments and links! As for the parenting books – I liked “The continuum concept”, but have have mixed feelings about it – I think it idealises too much this way of thinking/doing. Wrote a bit about it at http://blog.mathemagenic.com/2007/06/08/parenting-traditional-wisdom-and-modern-life/

And, since we are at parenting books – the one that I would recommend any new (especially research-minded :) parent to read is “Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent” by Meredith F. Small.

5 bassinet February 1, 2010 at 7:52

These are very interesting parralel’s between the two. I find “believing that loving care and on-going conversation can get you much further than punishments and rewards” is the best trait that corresponds with leadership and a sound parenting philosophy. This deals with communication and we know that this is extremely important in a successful business and a strong family unit.

Leave a Comment

You can use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Previous post:

Next post: