Antony (Orkut profile) shares:
When the door opened, and several smiling faculty wandered out, and each shook my hand, and said ‘Congratulations, DR. Courtney,’, it was probably the proudest and happiest moment of my life. It was clear from their smiles (and the fact that they voted to accept with no corrections required) that they actually *liked* my work and my defense, which was astonishing to me. I have been on an amazing euphoric high ever since, and it’s 3 days later…
In the process of getting here, I have done battle almost daily with the demons of depression and doubt about my intellectual worth, my lousy work habits and the quality of my research work. I know a lot of you are going through the same thing.
All I can say is: hang in there, it really is worth it, and you are probably much more capable than you think. Try to remember that there is a bigger picture, that the flaws you see in your work are only because you are an expert on your topic, and even just understanding and clearly, honestly articulating such flaws is probably a more valuable contribution than you realize.
For me, the emotional hell I went through in getting here has just made the sense of victory and accomplishment all the more sweet.
And one more thing: Don’t beat yourself up TOO much for all the time you’ve wasted on things like orkut when you should be writing. DO quit procrasting and get to work, just don’t beat yourself up about it. 🙂
Archived version of this entry is available at http://blog.mathemagenic.com/2004/03/06.html#a1112; comments are here.